Getting Married? Try this....

So, I've been hearing alot about marriage lately. My best friend is working out his wedding plans, a few friends are attending  weddings and basically all of creation is consumed with the prospect of nuptials. I'm sure it's because I'm married now, but it seems like all married people talk to other married people about is being or getting married. It's marriage-palooza.

Anyway, I was asked to comment on attending a wedding or funeral for someone I don't know. Since funerals are a complete waste of time and fundamentally useless to me, I'll do the married guy thing and talk about weddings.

A wedding is a joyous occasion in which family, friends and strangers gather together to be completely miserable and pretend to like each other for a few hours for the sake of a couple of people who won't even have the time to notice or care that you are there. That being said, they can be fun if done correctly.

I like going to weddings for people you don't know or barely know. That way there is no pretense. Everybody there knows that your just there to throw a toaster at the bride/groom, eat free food and then bow out and go do something enjoyable with your time, so you don't have to worry about anything.

As I mentioned, weddings can be fun though. If you have the right people getting married in the right place, it's a blast. Best weddings are usually thrown by Jews, Mexicans and anyone willing to go to Vegas. In my humble, yet all important opinion, weddings shouldn't be formal occasions. Your supposed to be celebrating. There will be enough suffering after you're actually married, so there is no reason to put yourself out anyone else through an entire day of stress and drudgery to get things started.

The Opening Salvo.....

It has begun.

The Salt Lake Comic Con began today and oh boy, what a way to start.

From the moment I got in line to the moment I left I was grinning from ear to ear. I know there are a few people who read this who will never understand how great this whole thing really is for someone like me, but I will do my best to explain.

I am a passionate man, but I'm also a reserved and logical one. So for me to be completely immersed in something that means so much to me and to be in the presence of such talent and enthusiasm is one of the purest forms of joy I will ever be able to experience and few things will ever measure up to it.

There is no way to describe how it feels to see so many people gathered together to celebrate nothing more or less than unbridled imagination. This is not about dressing up like your favorite character or meeting a celebrity from an old TV show or movie. This is about basking in one of the most fundamental building blocks of the human experience. Everyone dreams, everyone wants to escape and everyone wants to be something more than they are and this convention is about the unapologetic embrace of those desires. There were people there today from every walk of life and of every age and they all had the same gleam of wonder in their eyes.

A lot of people it seems think that we are walking around in a make believe fantasy world or that we can't cope with real life. But the truth of the matter is that most people who are truly passionate about these "geeky" things simply understand that real is whatever we want it to be.

Sure, it's fun to dress up and the sense of community is nice and it's pretty neat to see famous people and meet childhood icons. But for me, the real fun comes from knowing that I am in a place where reality is elastic, among people who look at the world like a blank canvas or an empty page and understand that all they have to do is dream it and it will be as real as the ground beneath their feet and the sun on their face.

There is a tangible kind of power in this way of life and though I've always known it in my head, today was the first time I have felt it in my soul.

So say what you will about my comic books and Magic cards. Poke fun at my Pokemon and my Star Wars obsession. Because while you sit and wonder what to do with your "real" life, I will be living a multitude of them.

Oh, and in most of my lives, I have a fucking lightsaber. So who's really coming out on top?

The Final Countdown....

And now you have that Europe song stuck in your head. You're welcome.

A day like today requires a dramatic, yet campy soundtrack, because It is the final day before Comic Con and the fate of Middle Earth stands balanced on the edge of a knife.....

Actually, all that's really happening is that I have to make it through a really rough day at work so I can be on vacation and I kinda don't want to, which is basically the same thing as carrying the ring into Mordor. And those damn eagles better be ready.

I got a cool new phone that not only allows me to better document my geekiness, but also make doing this on the go A LOT easier, so yay for technology, boo for work and may the force be ever in your favor, Harry.

Let's do this.

Saturday is a day for Awesome

Life is nuts, isn't it? After a crazy week full of grumpy ass Co-workers, ridiculous shifty weather and a roller coaster of emotions that the ride operator won't let me off of, it's officially the weekend and I couldn't be happier.

Started of with a double episode of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, followed by a quick trip to the store. Then a few episodes of Sunny and now I'm sitting here watching my wife and best friend shoot the hell out of some 12 year old korean girls on COD. Later we're going out for Chinese with my mom. So I'm in high spirits.

Things get crazy and life gives you stuff you're not sure you're completely capable of dealing with almost every day, but it's the little things, like morning sunshine, a huge breakfast or going ape shit on a bunch of people you've never met in a video game while the people you love laugh at you, it's those things that make all the usual bullshit worth it.

So to all of you who are having a rough time, look on the bright side. And if you can't do that, go blow some virtual shit up.

Learning is fun cuz the TV said so!

So, you all know me and you know I'm a gigantic nerd. It is because of that that I would like to give you now a list of important things I learned from movies, TV and comics.

Lesson 1: If you meet an old man in the desert, you should trust him immediately and go wherever he takes you. (Star Wars)

Lesson 2: If you find yourself in mortal danger, do the most reckless thing possible in the most reckless way possible. Not only will you always win, but you'll probably get the girl too. (Star Trek)

Lesson 3: If you're on a long trip, always make your best friend do all the hard stuff and tell them constantly how much you admire them. That way, you can take all the credit when you get back without feeling bad. (Lord of the Rings)

Lesson 4: Red eyes are bad. (Lord of the Rings/Battlestar Galactica/Terminator/Star Wars)

Lesson 5: When learning to master a new skill, never take it seriously at first and complain about it as much as possible. That way you will appreciate it more later. (Star Wars/Lord of the Rings/Star Trek/Highlander)

Lesson 6: Always underestimate nature. That way, when it bests you, you can be shocked. (Jurassic Park)

Lesson 7: If you have the opportunity to go back or forward in time, always meddle in the affairs of your ancestors/descendants. (Back to the future/Stargate/Star Trek/Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure)

Lesson 8: All negotiations must go as follows: Standoff, Bargaining, disgusted refusal, jump, end negotiations violently. (every action movie ever)

Well that's all for today kids. until next time!

Here I am, back again

Been awhile, hasn't it? I let the world swallow me into it's ceaselessly churning guts of everyday routine and run me through the intestines of monotony until recently, when I was fortunate enough to find the exit.....

Anyway, same things are going on, life is as liveable as always, though it is soon to be more so thanks to (drum roll please) THE FIRST ANNUAL SALT LAKE COMIC CON!!!

Three days of unadulterated nerdgasm, full to the brim with some of TV's top actors of the 60's-80's, the hottest B list celebrities and a gaggle of local talent that are sure to overcharge for everything they can.

It'll be like I died and went to a sweaty, over-opinionated heaven full of fat angels in terrible cosplay, and I am bursting the seams of my vintage starfleet unifom pants with anticipation.

Seriously, all terrifyingly graphic  metaphors aside, it's going to be great and I've been plugging it everywhere and everyway I can. If you get a chance and haven't yet, visit their website and check it out. It's coming soon so make haste!

I'm gonna try to keep up as best I can on here because I've really missed doing this, so stay tuned friends and neighbors. Who knows, I may even end up writing something worth reading on here someday ;)

Maybe.

- HC

Geeky Opinion/Rant Post

Okay, here it goes.

  I hate the geeks who go to a movie based on a comic book or video game and can't just roll with the punches. It has to be understood that these movies aren't really made for the die hard fans.

  They aren't made for the collectors or the fanboys or the cosplayers. They will never be made for the people like us who are actually really passionate and care about these characters and worlds that have been shaped for us, and by us, for many, many years.

  That being said, Iron Man 3 made me want to draw and quarter everyone involved with it.

  It's not because they made up an original story that isn't based on any comic book story; That's great.

  It's not because they added a ton of spectacle and flash; That has to be there to make an interesting movie.

  It isn't even because they took the one real opportunity they had to make an honest to God believable and interesting villain for Iron Man to fight in a movie and made him a completely juvenile joke.

 The reason that I had so much issue with this movie is the same reason I had issue with X-men Origins: Wolverine.

  They lead the hardcore fan base, like myself, to believe that maybe, this time at least, they are going to do something different and take an interesting and unusual character and use that character to it's full potential. They pick a great actor to play the character so that you are even more interested and excited. Then they show you the previews for a year with everything set up to make things look like they will be miraculously true to form.

  And then you go to the movie and the first half of it is amazing and you get wrapped up in it and the suspense starts to become unbearable.  And then, at that climactic moment, the people responsible for the great film you have been watching, decide to take a minute to laugh behind their hands and then there is a big FUCK YOU, NERDS!!!

  And that character that you have been so excited for takes a total 180 and turns into the whole reason why you will always and have always hated movie adaptations of anything.

  It's like if you were listening to your favorite band play a live show and they started to play your all time favorite song, that one that taps into all your best emotions and memories, and it's the best you've ever heard, until they hit the midway point in the song and stop, look at the audience and say, "Well, you idiots gave us your money already, so instead of finishing this song the way you love it, we're just gonna sing a few rounds of row, row, row your boat and piss in your face when we're done. Why? Mostly because fuck you, that's why."

  I don't begrudge Hollywood making money and I understand that the majority of people will really enjoy the movie. It's a fun, action filled escape from real life and I don't think anyone is stupid or foolish for liking it and  having a good time.

  I do however hate the idea they have that people are incapable of adapting to a different concept and enjoying it. Then again, I suppose that's what we have demonstrated in the past.

  Hell, look at the success of Avatar. There has never been a more blatant rip off of someone else's work than that movie. But it made a tone of money. Not because the story was interesting or the acting was good or even because the writing was adequate; It wasn't.

It made a ton of money because it was shiny and had pretty colors.

Oh well. I'm done now. Sorry to anyone who actually read this. i just had to complain and it seemed the best place to do it was on here. Don't want to ruin anyone's fun.

-HC