Geeky Opinion/Rant Post

Okay, here it goes.

  I hate the geeks who go to a movie based on a comic book or video game and can't just roll with the punches. It has to be understood that these movies aren't really made for the die hard fans.

  They aren't made for the collectors or the fanboys or the cosplayers. They will never be made for the people like us who are actually really passionate and care about these characters and worlds that have been shaped for us, and by us, for many, many years.

  That being said, Iron Man 3 made me want to draw and quarter everyone involved with it.

  It's not because they made up an original story that isn't based on any comic book story; That's great.

  It's not because they added a ton of spectacle and flash; That has to be there to make an interesting movie.

  It isn't even because they took the one real opportunity they had to make an honest to God believable and interesting villain for Iron Man to fight in a movie and made him a completely juvenile joke.

 The reason that I had so much issue with this movie is the same reason I had issue with X-men Origins: Wolverine.

  They lead the hardcore fan base, like myself, to believe that maybe, this time at least, they are going to do something different and take an interesting and unusual character and use that character to it's full potential. They pick a great actor to play the character so that you are even more interested and excited. Then they show you the previews for a year with everything set up to make things look like they will be miraculously true to form.

  And then you go to the movie and the first half of it is amazing and you get wrapped up in it and the suspense starts to become unbearable.  And then, at that climactic moment, the people responsible for the great film you have been watching, decide to take a minute to laugh behind their hands and then there is a big FUCK YOU, NERDS!!!

  And that character that you have been so excited for takes a total 180 and turns into the whole reason why you will always and have always hated movie adaptations of anything.

  It's like if you were listening to your favorite band play a live show and they started to play your all time favorite song, that one that taps into all your best emotions and memories, and it's the best you've ever heard, until they hit the midway point in the song and stop, look at the audience and say, "Well, you idiots gave us your money already, so instead of finishing this song the way you love it, we're just gonna sing a few rounds of row, row, row your boat and piss in your face when we're done. Why? Mostly because fuck you, that's why."

  I don't begrudge Hollywood making money and I understand that the majority of people will really enjoy the movie. It's a fun, action filled escape from real life and I don't think anyone is stupid or foolish for liking it and  having a good time.

  I do however hate the idea they have that people are incapable of adapting to a different concept and enjoying it. Then again, I suppose that's what we have demonstrated in the past.

  Hell, look at the success of Avatar. There has never been a more blatant rip off of someone else's work than that movie. But it made a tone of money. Not because the story was interesting or the acting was good or even because the writing was adequate; It wasn't.

It made a ton of money because it was shiny and had pretty colors.

Oh well. I'm done now. Sorry to anyone who actually read this. i just had to complain and it seemed the best place to do it was on here. Don't want to ruin anyone's fun.

-HC

IT'S HAPPY FUN-TIME LEARNING FOR KNOWLEDGE POST!!!

Ladies and Gentelmen, I believe it's time for me to learn your brains some knowledge!!

  I'm sure most all of you know about Dragons. And if you don't, I suggest you learn about them right now because you cannot possibly be living a full and happy life without knowing of the awesomeness of these "Mythical" creatures.

  There are all different kinds of dragons.  Here are a few we see all the time;

The European Dragon

 
This is your standard, four limbed, wing havin' dragon. Usually breaths fire, or ice or some other basic elemental business on unsuspecting villagers. It also seems to have a preference for hoarding loot and taking hostages, especially blonde princesses.

The Chinese Dragon


Dragons got a much better rap in the orient than in Europe. They are usually associated with luck or creation stories and as you can see above they ignore the physics of the real world and fly around without wings. Don't ask me how, all I know is that when you collect their balls you get wishes.

The Komodo Dragon



I'm pretty sure these are fake. Someone tried to tell me there was one at the zoo one time, and I was like "YOU CAN'T CAGE A DRAGON, SUCKA!!" and then I hit him with my car. The court date is set, but I'm pretty sure the jury will agree he deserved it for lying.


Now, here are a few lesser known dragons.


Mr. Dragon



You may have guessed this, but this dragon is a unique master of the ancient art of Japanese chip making.

SpaceX Dragon

 

Dragon is a partially reusable spacecraft developed by SpaceX, an American private space transportation company based in Hawthorne, California.  Dragon is launched into space by the SpaceX Falcon 9 two-stage-to-orbit launch vehicle, and is capable of both manned and robotic operation.
Also, it's totally badass.

Double Dragon



The only dragon known to exist as two seperate entities, it generally takes the form of two white guys in stupid costumes. It travels through the back alleys and seedier areas of major american cities beating up criminals and doing battle with supernaturally powered karate students or futuristic mega corporations......for some reason. Also the only dragon that occasionally has awesome glowing swords. (Pictured Above)

And finally,

HAPPY FUN-TIME LEARNING FOR KNOWLEDGE Dragon

It seems that simply by writing this blog post, a new species of dragon has been created AND IT'S AMAZING!!!

Well, that's it. You now have all the knowledge you will ever need to do..... something.

Something that involves dragons.

YAY LEARNING!!!

Here's one for a dreary day...

Howdy again, folks.

I don't feel very much like being funny today (don't worry, it's just a phase), so I think I'm just gonna post something I have been avoiding. It's about time for it anyway and I haven't posted in far too long.

I think this is the best thing I've written so far. Feel free to criticize and all that if you feel the need. I always appreciate it.


                   'Coca Cola and the Conscious Mind"

As I sit alone one day,
A Coca Cola rolls my way,
And in the label, old and frayed,
I see a life unfold.

This life began as all must do,
With molding of it's body new,
In infancy, so clear and true,
If slightly tinted by the maker.

Then adolescence comes at last,
And suddenly the tinted glass
Is filled and darkened all too fast
By the brackish mire of sin.

Now our hero comes of age,
Clad, red and white, it turns the page
And out it goes to earn it's wage,
To stagnate with all the others.

So after such a life as this,
It's lifted high aloft, and bliss,
All darkness cleared by lover's kiss,
It dies alone with purpose.

And as I sit alone one day,
And watch the bottle roll away,
I think upon that little play,
And suddenly, I'm thirsty.

A response

In light of the recent discussion about equal rights and Gay marriage, I'd like to show my support for the one side of the argument that needs it the most.

So here's to all of you people, both gay and straight, who have better things to do than bitch and moan all day. God bless you.

This is a song about a great folk hero.

(by the way, if you don't have a sense of humor, you may want to avoid this video)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-TtfMLGnok

The Posting II: The Sequal

So, it's been quite the day. A little rainy, a little cold, a whole hell of a lot of boring, but things could be worse.

Anyway, in an attempt to not only garner some support and new followers in this business, I'm putting out this bulletin:


                                                      WANTED!

   Random thoughts, subjects and/or 
  topics of interest to YOU! Yes, YOU!

Yes that's right, now you can, if you so choose, dictate the course and content of my future posts! Sure, I'll still be doing my usual ridiculous nonsense that comes to my head at any given moment, but I would also like to hear anything that you would like me to comment on, ponder out loud or go off on a maddening tangent about!

Anyone's idea is eligible for consideration, provided that:

A.) I find it interesting or potentially awesome

and

B.) You are aware that I will most likely turn it into an amusing, sarcastic and slightly mocking post for the whole of the internet to read.

So, if your interested, comment on this post, my Facebook page or any future posts with your ideas or gripes or whatnot and help me help you to help you help me.

Thanks to those who keep reading my blog and for those of you who don't or have never read it, you know who you are and you should be ashamed of yourselves.

- Hippo C

Blogging from the comfort of my lofty castle...

Well, it's official. I now have the internet in my home.

I understand that for many this seems like a small thing, but it means alot to me because I haven't had the internet readily available too me since I was a kid.

No more will I have to be excited to go to someone's house just because I can leech their internet, nor will I ever again have to degrade myself by mingling with the peasants at the "Library".

And most importantly, now I am able to sit on my couch and use my computer to write my ridiculous blog posts for you to read, and that means more posting, more often! I know that all one of you are really excited about that!

So there you have it. I have easier access to the internets, so you have more readily available access to the workings of my mind. That makes me happy and so, under pain of death, it also makes you happy.

To all who read this, Have an exceedingly pleasant day and don't forget to eat your vegetables and wash behind your ears. Oh, and stop playing ball in the house! Don't you use that tone of voice with me! You just wait until your father gets home!

- Hippo C

Haven't done this for awhile....

Well, well. Fancy meeting you here.

I wish I could say life has been crazy or that I've had some major breakthrough that's kept me from writing on here, but alas, I simply haven't had the drive.

There are alot of people I know who write inspirational things or talk about their lives and feelings in their blog and it would be very easy for me to do something like that, but I don't want to. Mostly because, in my experience, people really don't give much of a shit. So instead I'll stick to my theme of weirdness.

I've started a running theme of tips and tricks I like to call ”Adventuring 101”. Here's a new one.

If ever you find yourself battling a supernatural creature, such as a blood swamp fellbeast or a hellfire spewing, vampiric marmoset, remember they all have one glaringly obvious weakness. A glinting crystal eye perhaps or a second randomly flailing head that occasionally stops to spit acid at you. Things to remember.