So, it's been quite the day. A little rainy, a little cold, a whole hell of a lot of boring, but things could be worse.
Anyway, in an attempt to not only garner some support and new followers in this business, I'm putting out this bulletin:
WANTED!
Random thoughts, subjects and/or
topics of interest to YOU! Yes, YOU!
Yes that's right, now you can, if you so choose, dictate the course and content of my future posts! Sure, I'll still be doing my usual ridiculous nonsense that comes to my head at any given moment, but I would also like to hear anything that you would like me to comment on, ponder out loud or go off on a maddening tangent about!
Anyone's idea is eligible for consideration, provided that:
A.) I find it interesting or potentially awesome
and
B.) You are aware that I will most likely turn it into an amusing, sarcastic and slightly mocking post for the whole of the internet to read.
So, if your interested, comment on this post, my Facebook page or any future posts with your ideas or gripes or whatnot and help me help you to help you help me.
Thanks to those who keep reading my blog and for those of you who don't or have never read it, you know who you are and you should be ashamed of yourselves.
- Hippo C
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Blogging from the comfort of my lofty castle...
Well, it's official. I now have the internet in my home.
I understand that for many this seems like a small thing, but it means alot to me because I haven't had the internet readily available too me since I was a kid.
No more will I have to be excited to go to someone's house just because I can leech their internet, nor will I ever again have to degrade myself by mingling with the peasants at the "Library".
And most importantly, now I am able to sit on my couch and use my computer to write my ridiculous blog posts for you to read, and that means more posting, more often! I know that all one of you are really excited about that!
So there you have it. I have easier access to the internets, so you have more readily available access to the workings of my mind. That makes me happy and so, under pain of death, it also makes you happy.
To all who read this, Have an exceedingly pleasant day and don't forget to eat your vegetables and wash behind your ears. Oh, and stop playing ball in the house! Don't you use that tone of voice with me! You just wait until your father gets home!
- Hippo C
I understand that for many this seems like a small thing, but it means alot to me because I haven't had the internet readily available too me since I was a kid.
No more will I have to be excited to go to someone's house just because I can leech their internet, nor will I ever again have to degrade myself by mingling with the peasants at the "Library".
And most importantly, now I am able to sit on my couch and use my computer to write my ridiculous blog posts for you to read, and that means more posting, more often! I know that all one of you are really excited about that!
So there you have it. I have easier access to the internets, so you have more readily available access to the workings of my mind. That makes me happy and so, under pain of death, it also makes you happy.
To all who read this, Have an exceedingly pleasant day and don't forget to eat your vegetables and wash behind your ears. Oh, and stop playing ball in the house! Don't you use that tone of voice with me! You just wait until your father gets home!
- Hippo C
Monday, March 4, 2013
Haven't done this for awhile....
Well, well. Fancy meeting you here.
I wish I could say life has been crazy or that I've had some major breakthrough that's kept me from writing on here, but alas, I simply haven't had the drive.
There are alot of people I know who write inspirational things or talk about their lives and feelings in their blog and it would be very easy for me to do something like that, but I don't want to. Mostly because, in my experience, people really don't give much of a shit. So instead I'll stick to my theme of weirdness.
I've started a running theme of tips and tricks I like to call ”Adventuring 101”. Here's a new one.
If ever you find yourself battling a supernatural creature, such as a blood swamp fellbeast or a hellfire spewing, vampiric marmoset, remember they all have one glaringly obvious weakness. A glinting crystal eye perhaps or a second randomly flailing head that occasionally stops to spit acid at you. Things to remember.
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Well, I dropped the ball on that one....
So I kinda blew week 2 of my black history month celebration, but hey, it was Valentines Day week and I had to exhaust what little wits I have just trying to earn points with my wife.
And so it leaves me with a quandary. Do I ramp up the whole thing a present you with a double shot for the week, or just say to hell with it and dump the project all together.....
Perhaps I'll have decided by tomorrow. Until then, I leave you with this important message for the day:
Saturday, February 9, 2013
I'm learning to hate vegetables
So, as it turns out, going from a diet of primarily meat to cutting out every thing except eggs and cheese kinda sucks.
I'd like to start by saying I have absolutely nothing against eating things with faces. They taste wonderful and I'm smarter than they are, so they deserve it. I'm just tired of being fat and unhealthy.
That being said, this vegetarian diet thing is turning out to be a great way to cut down portion sizes, calories and awkward stare-downs with people at the meat wall in Walmart. That bitch knew I was going for that steak.....
Anyway, it's really not all that bad considering the options that are out there now. It shortens the search time on menus at restaurants significantly. And it has a very humbling effect.
Have you ever known the pain of having to discard the ham from an egg Mcmuffin? It's like being forced to keep eye contact while you strangle a kitten.
I think this it's going to work for me.
Monday, February 4, 2013
Welcome to February, Sucka!
Well, to those of you who don't have a calendar, it's February. The month of love, appreciation of Presidents, thanking your mail carrier and the blackest of history.
In honor of that last part, I'm going to be devoting one post a week to some of the most influential and inspiring black people of all time. I'm sure some of you will disagree with me and this will just be my opinion, but as it turns out, that's all that matters here, so too bad for you.
Let's begin with someone who has made my life much more enjoyable.
MR. T
Some people may think that he is just a washed up tough guy from the 80's who no one has taken seriously since Rocky III. And those people are assholes. There is so much more to this T than people believe.
Without Mr. T's compassion and intense pity for fools, many of us would never know just how may fools are out there to be pitied. Other humanitarian efforts include a long roster of public service announcements across many different mediums, that stress the importance of things like drinking milk, not doing drugs and looking both ways when crossing the street.
His constant crusading against things like excessive "Jibba Jabba" and "Suckas" are a testament to his dedication and perseverance and make him a shining beacon of the black community. He clearly has a solid grasp of economics, as he puts his money into gold and depends only on himself and not unreliable banks to protect his assets.
In summation, I pity any fools who don't appreciate this great man.
Plus, he had his own damn cereal. You don't just get your own damn cereal for nothin', suckas!
In honor of that last part, I'm going to be devoting one post a week to some of the most influential and inspiring black people of all time. I'm sure some of you will disagree with me and this will just be my opinion, but as it turns out, that's all that matters here, so too bad for you.
Let's begin with someone who has made my life much more enjoyable.
MR. T
Some people may think that he is just a washed up tough guy from the 80's who no one has taken seriously since Rocky III. And those people are assholes. There is so much more to this T than people believe.
Without Mr. T's compassion and intense pity for fools, many of us would never know just how may fools are out there to be pitied. Other humanitarian efforts include a long roster of public service announcements across many different mediums, that stress the importance of things like drinking milk, not doing drugs and looking both ways when crossing the street.
His constant crusading against things like excessive "Jibba Jabba" and "Suckas" are a testament to his dedication and perseverance and make him a shining beacon of the black community. He clearly has a solid grasp of economics, as he puts his money into gold and depends only on himself and not unreliable banks to protect his assets.
In summation, I pity any fools who don't appreciate this great man.
Plus, he had his own damn cereal. You don't just get your own damn cereal for nothin', suckas!
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
I'm a socially inept butterfly!
What have I become?
I have this blog that I really enjoy, I've got the Facebook goin' on and now I've joined the twitter.
This is the kind of thing that happens when you give an introvert the ability to bypass social norms. He tries to shove his opinions and sense of humor down everyone's throat as much as possible.
Luckily I'm not like that.... HA!
Anyway, I decided I don't wanna bitch about the weather today, because that's been done to death. I'm pretty sure I don't want to complain about work either. So Instead of complaining, here's a list of fun things to do.
1.) Start a midget sled team. Their stride may be short, but they have stamina.
2.) Go to a fast food resturaunt, order the biggest, calorie laden meal possible, then make fun of the person at the window for being fat.
3.) Go to a bank and take hostages..... on a field trip. Bowling or mini golf is always a big hit.
4.) Donate blood. Then, 30 minutes after you're done, go back to the blood bank and tell them you're having second thoughts and want it back.
5.) Build a paper mache pipe bomb filled with confetti. The bomb squad will appreciate your sense of humor.
6.) Start an Asian specific tour group with a "No Photography" Policy.
7.) Go to hot topic and ask if they have anything in black.
8.) Open a bed and breakfast that only serves lunch and very loosely interprets it's "beds".
9.) Dress up like Slenderman and feed the ducks at your local park.
10.) Finally, Climb a clock tower and go on a shooting spree with a nerf gun and bottle rockets.
Enjoy your day and don't forget to act stupid.
I have this blog that I really enjoy, I've got the Facebook goin' on and now I've joined the twitter.
This is the kind of thing that happens when you give an introvert the ability to bypass social norms. He tries to shove his opinions and sense of humor down everyone's throat as much as possible.
Luckily I'm not like that.... HA!
Anyway, I decided I don't wanna bitch about the weather today, because that's been done to death. I'm pretty sure I don't want to complain about work either. So Instead of complaining, here's a list of fun things to do.
1.) Start a midget sled team. Their stride may be short, but they have stamina.
2.) Go to a fast food resturaunt, order the biggest, calorie laden meal possible, then make fun of the person at the window for being fat.
3.) Go to a bank and take hostages..... on a field trip. Bowling or mini golf is always a big hit.
4.) Donate blood. Then, 30 minutes after you're done, go back to the blood bank and tell them you're having second thoughts and want it back.
5.) Build a paper mache pipe bomb filled with confetti. The bomb squad will appreciate your sense of humor.
6.) Start an Asian specific tour group with a "No Photography" Policy.
7.) Go to hot topic and ask if they have anything in black.
8.) Open a bed and breakfast that only serves lunch and very loosely interprets it's "beds".
9.) Dress up like Slenderman and feed the ducks at your local park.
10.) Finally, Climb a clock tower and go on a shooting spree with a nerf gun and bottle rockets.
Enjoy your day and don't forget to act stupid.
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