To whom it may concern....

Well, I haven't done this for awhile. But I figured l ought to start back up because.... IT'S 2014!!! (I know it has been for some time now, but piss off)

Anyway, a lot of new and exciting things happening this year. I'm going to make sure of it. I'm a few steps away from being enrolled in college already and that's pretty big on it's own. Besides that I'm determined to make the most out of my free time by doing more camping and fishing and just generally experiencing more new things.

In that spirit, I'm going to try and dedicate more time to this blog and perhaps go in a different direction with it, though it will essentially remain a swirling vortex of randomness, entertainment and foul language.

So for those of you who want to read what I have to say, this year should be much more rewarding for you. And for those of you who don't, go fuck off and read your pussy food blogs or something.

-HC

Even Gentleman Shark is getting in the spirit!!! Thanks, old chum! (Ya see what I did there. Eh?)

Getting Married? Try this....

So, I've been hearing alot about marriage lately. My best friend is working out his wedding plans, a few friends are attending  weddings and basically all of creation is consumed with the prospect of nuptials. I'm sure it's because I'm married now, but it seems like all married people talk to other married people about is being or getting married. It's marriage-palooza.

Anyway, I was asked to comment on attending a wedding or funeral for someone I don't know. Since funerals are a complete waste of time and fundamentally useless to me, I'll do the married guy thing and talk about weddings.

A wedding is a joyous occasion in which family, friends and strangers gather together to be completely miserable and pretend to like each other for a few hours for the sake of a couple of people who won't even have the time to notice or care that you are there. That being said, they can be fun if done correctly.

I like going to weddings for people you don't know or barely know. That way there is no pretense. Everybody there knows that your just there to throw a toaster at the bride/groom, eat free food and then bow out and go do something enjoyable with your time, so you don't have to worry about anything.

As I mentioned, weddings can be fun though. If you have the right people getting married in the right place, it's a blast. Best weddings are usually thrown by Jews, Mexicans and anyone willing to go to Vegas. In my humble, yet all important opinion, weddings shouldn't be formal occasions. Your supposed to be celebrating. There will be enough suffering after you're actually married, so there is no reason to put yourself out anyone else through an entire day of stress and drudgery to get things started.

The Opening Salvo.....

It has begun.

The Salt Lake Comic Con began today and oh boy, what a way to start.

From the moment I got in line to the moment I left I was grinning from ear to ear. I know there are a few people who read this who will never understand how great this whole thing really is for someone like me, but I will do my best to explain.

I am a passionate man, but I'm also a reserved and logical one. So for me to be completely immersed in something that means so much to me and to be in the presence of such talent and enthusiasm is one of the purest forms of joy I will ever be able to experience and few things will ever measure up to it.

There is no way to describe how it feels to see so many people gathered together to celebrate nothing more or less than unbridled imagination. This is not about dressing up like your favorite character or meeting a celebrity from an old TV show or movie. This is about basking in one of the most fundamental building blocks of the human experience. Everyone dreams, everyone wants to escape and everyone wants to be something more than they are and this convention is about the unapologetic embrace of those desires. There were people there today from every walk of life and of every age and they all had the same gleam of wonder in their eyes.

A lot of people it seems think that we are walking around in a make believe fantasy world or that we can't cope with real life. But the truth of the matter is that most people who are truly passionate about these "geeky" things simply understand that real is whatever we want it to be.

Sure, it's fun to dress up and the sense of community is nice and it's pretty neat to see famous people and meet childhood icons. But for me, the real fun comes from knowing that I am in a place where reality is elastic, among people who look at the world like a blank canvas or an empty page and understand that all they have to do is dream it and it will be as real as the ground beneath their feet and the sun on their face.

There is a tangible kind of power in this way of life and though I've always known it in my head, today was the first time I have felt it in my soul.

So say what you will about my comic books and Magic cards. Poke fun at my Pokemon and my Star Wars obsession. Because while you sit and wonder what to do with your "real" life, I will be living a multitude of them.

Oh, and in most of my lives, I have a fucking lightsaber. So who's really coming out on top?

The Final Countdown....

And now you have that Europe song stuck in your head. You're welcome.

A day like today requires a dramatic, yet campy soundtrack, because It is the final day before Comic Con and the fate of Middle Earth stands balanced on the edge of a knife.....

Actually, all that's really happening is that I have to make it through a really rough day at work so I can be on vacation and I kinda don't want to, which is basically the same thing as carrying the ring into Mordor. And those damn eagles better be ready.

I got a cool new phone that not only allows me to better document my geekiness, but also make doing this on the go A LOT easier, so yay for technology, boo for work and may the force be ever in your favor, Harry.

Let's do this.

Saturday is a day for Awesome

Life is nuts, isn't it? After a crazy week full of grumpy ass Co-workers, ridiculous shifty weather and a roller coaster of emotions that the ride operator won't let me off of, it's officially the weekend and I couldn't be happier.

Started of with a double episode of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, followed by a quick trip to the store. Then a few episodes of Sunny and now I'm sitting here watching my wife and best friend shoot the hell out of some 12 year old korean girls on COD. Later we're going out for Chinese with my mom. So I'm in high spirits.

Things get crazy and life gives you stuff you're not sure you're completely capable of dealing with almost every day, but it's the little things, like morning sunshine, a huge breakfast or going ape shit on a bunch of people you've never met in a video game while the people you love laugh at you, it's those things that make all the usual bullshit worth it.

So to all of you who are having a rough time, look on the bright side. And if you can't do that, go blow some virtual shit up.

Learning is fun cuz the TV said so!

So, you all know me and you know I'm a gigantic nerd. It is because of that that I would like to give you now a list of important things I learned from movies, TV and comics.

Lesson 1: If you meet an old man in the desert, you should trust him immediately and go wherever he takes you. (Star Wars)

Lesson 2: If you find yourself in mortal danger, do the most reckless thing possible in the most reckless way possible. Not only will you always win, but you'll probably get the girl too. (Star Trek)

Lesson 3: If you're on a long trip, always make your best friend do all the hard stuff and tell them constantly how much you admire them. That way, you can take all the credit when you get back without feeling bad. (Lord of the Rings)

Lesson 4: Red eyes are bad. (Lord of the Rings/Battlestar Galactica/Terminator/Star Wars)

Lesson 5: When learning to master a new skill, never take it seriously at first and complain about it as much as possible. That way you will appreciate it more later. (Star Wars/Lord of the Rings/Star Trek/Highlander)

Lesson 6: Always underestimate nature. That way, when it bests you, you can be shocked. (Jurassic Park)

Lesson 7: If you have the opportunity to go back or forward in time, always meddle in the affairs of your ancestors/descendants. (Back to the future/Stargate/Star Trek/Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure)

Lesson 8: All negotiations must go as follows: Standoff, Bargaining, disgusted refusal, jump, end negotiations violently. (every action movie ever)

Well that's all for today kids. until next time!

Here I am, back again

Been awhile, hasn't it? I let the world swallow me into it's ceaselessly churning guts of everyday routine and run me through the intestines of monotony until recently, when I was fortunate enough to find the exit.....

Anyway, same things are going on, life is as liveable as always, though it is soon to be more so thanks to (drum roll please) THE FIRST ANNUAL SALT LAKE COMIC CON!!!

Three days of unadulterated nerdgasm, full to the brim with some of TV's top actors of the 60's-80's, the hottest B list celebrities and a gaggle of local talent that are sure to overcharge for everything they can.

It'll be like I died and went to a sweaty, over-opinionated heaven full of fat angels in terrible cosplay, and I am bursting the seams of my vintage starfleet unifom pants with anticipation.

Seriously, all terrifyingly graphic  metaphors aside, it's going to be great and I've been plugging it everywhere and everyway I can. If you get a chance and haven't yet, visit their website and check it out. It's coming soon so make haste!

I'm gonna try to keep up as best I can on here because I've really missed doing this, so stay tuned friends and neighbors. Who knows, I may even end up writing something worth reading on here someday ;)

Maybe.

- HC