Okay, here it goes...

I'm gonna post the short story I just completed on here. I got a very good review of it and that's enough for me to put it on here. It's pretty short, but I hope you enjoy it.

                                                           

                                                                   Good Friday


  The swing, the thud sound of metal on soft wood, the fall.

  Carter wiped a thin sheen of sweat from his suntanned brow with the stained bandanna he often kept dangling from his back pocket.

  It was always the same. He was carrying on the family tradition just as it had always been done, good times and bad, since time out of mind.

  Always on that same hill, that same crop of trees in the field behind the house. Always under that same orange, fade to red, fade to midnight sky. Sometimes, if he was lucky and the day had been just right, the fireflies would start winking on and off like Christmas tree lights right as he was finishing up. Those were the days he liked the best.

  The house had changed a lot in just the time since Carter was a boy. Since his older brother John had passed on a few years back, he had had to make some changes just to keep the place up.

  Carter had taken time over the last year to fix up some of the now empty rooms in the big farmhouse and throw a new coat of paint on the outside, and tomorrow the Stephen’s Lane Boarding House would officially be open for business. He had even made up a nice, big hand painted sign for out by the drive that he was very proud of.

  There wasn’t much cause for a boarding house this far out from the city and really, Carter wasn’t sure he would be very good at that sort of business, but with the new highway that just opened up he knew the traffic would get heavier and there was a good chance he would do just fine. He had put all the “quaint country charm” he could muster into the place and he knew the city people would like that. With John and his folks gone, he had had to figure out some way to keep the money coming in, so he would give it a shot.

  Before, when Carter and John were boys, their folks ran the general store in town and that kept them well enough. But then momma died while she was driving up to see her sister and dad didn’t hold up so well after that. He sold the store and just stayed in all the time. It had been a long time, but Carter thought there might be a Circle K there now.

  But the tradition was always important. No matter how low he was, Carter’s dad would seem to brighten up when those Friday evenings came and they would all go out to the back field. Those were special times and on nights like this one, as he stood watching the sky deepen into black and the stars come out one by one like God was poking holes in the fabric of the sky with a sewing needle, He would take it all in and remember his family and think about how much he missed them and how much better it had been.

  But things were as they were and are as they are and all Carter could do was work hard, stay smart and keep the tradition, and his memories, alive.

  His recollections broken, Carter went down on one knee in the tall grass of the hill and began the last part of his Friday night routine. He patted the body down with a dexterous hand, searching for anything of value it may have on it.

  Carter made the sweep and found a gold wedding ring and a thin wallet full of useless, to Carter at least, credit cards and 60 dollars cash. There were also the usual pictures of children and dogs and the like, but they were of no interest. Besides, looking through a man’s memories was wrong.

  Carter stood, picking the blood stained shovel up from the ground where he had laid it and pushed the body down the hill with one scuffed and dirty work boot. It rolled haphazardly, laying down a trail in the tall grass behind it and then came to rest with a soft thud among the others. He would need to come out tomorrow and throw some more lime on the pile, but that was Saturday business.

  He turned, pulling out a bandanna from his pocket and wiped the blood off the shovel as he walked. When the man had come up asking for directions this morning after not seeing a soul for almost two weeks, Carter had known this would be a good night.

 And it was. The fireflies came out. Carter threw the old shovel over his shoulder and smiled a little.

  A very good night indeed.

Yay!!!

Well I've been sick for the past few days and it sucked. But I'm on the mend and I'll be back to the old grind tomorrow.

Hasn't been a total loss though. My most excellent friend and cohort Amy K, AKA Moneypenny, bought me an excellent gift. A collection of short stories.

That opened the door for me to write and actually complete a short story of my own. I'm quite proud of it actually and I can't thank her enough.

Since it's almost Christmas, I may not be posting for awhile amidst all the craziness. But I'll try to keep up.

Finally....

I'm back to it. Writing again feels great and I think I'm on the final leg of a story I have been working on for at least a year.

This blog has helped alot with my writing, mostly because it makes me think about it more. I just wish there was more time to devote to my stories though. It's what I really want to do. I don't think I'll ever be a great writer or anything, but I know I can get some really decent stuff out there if I can learn what I need to and have the time to write it.

Anyway, more updates to come and all that. And I promise I'll be a bigger smartass in my next few posts.

Have a good night, suckas!

Been awhile, huh?

Wow, it's been nuts since black Friday. I blame everyone who likes cardboard standups. Moneypenny and I are doing everything we can to use our awesomeness to stem the tide, but there is only so much we can do. It's hard being the greatest team ever.

But anyway, we started this awesome book/movie club, that it now occurs to me had yet to be named, and are well on the way to having an really great thing goin on. I'm excited to get it underway.

I shall attempt to keep up with events on here, but it's gonna be psycho until after christmas.

Dear lord Jesus, it's Sweet Brown!!!

Watch "Sweet Brown - Original Report and Autotune Remix.mp4" on YouTube

Nothing like a bloodbath after a long day

So I shall begin this as all great modern day stories begin.

Today, work sucked.

But, Moneypenny kept me sane through most of it and when I did finally get to trudge dejectedly home, I found my beautiful wife had not only cleaned the house, but had rented us some fine movies. Only had the time to watch one, but it was great.

Expendables 2. I would imagine I don't need to give an in depth  review of this movie franchise, but here's a quick summary.

Some aged dudes kill foreigners for a living in horrible and overly bloody ways while delivering terrible one liners, then laugh about it later.

Some of you may be thinking that sounds like a terrible premise for a movie, and you would be completely wrong and you're probably a douchebag....... Or most women, in which case, you are forgiven.  If you don't watch either of these movies and have fun, you have failed at watching movies and should start all over again.

Quote of the year

”As private parts to the Gods are we, they play with us for their sport!” Lord Melchet

No more of that business...

Well Thanksgiving is over. To everyone who celebrated it, hope it was good. To those who didn't, whatever. You must not like free food and therefore I do not wish to know you.

During my Thanksgiving vacation, my little brother got me hooked back on one of my favorite pastimes when I was a kid, Pokemon. To all of you who are rolling your eyes in disgust right now, you know nothing!!!! Its one of the most entertaining video games ever created.

I'm never gonna ”catch em' all”, as I haven't the patience for that, but it still totally rocks.

My holiday greeting

And it's just for you! Yes, you!! What a crazy year its been with all that stuff that happened and what not. At this time of year, being the holiday that it happens to be at the time you read this, it's important to remember the great times we shared.

Remember when we called each other because of that one thing that was important at the time? We sure did have a great laugh about that, I assume!

Oh, and the other time when we all got together and went out to that place that was in the city we were in and we had so much fun, I'm pretty sure!

Those are the kind of memories I think of around holidays like the one this is and it makes me really happy to have you in my life.

So thank you and happy relevant holiday, everyone and God/Gods/Nothing bless you!!!!

Thankfulness Overloaded

Like any holiday or major event, everytime you turn on a TV, read a newspaper or turn on your computer, you get inundated with peoples opinions on whatever it is that's comin around the bend.

Usually, that makes me wanna strangle society to death with piano wire.

One of the only exceptions to that rule for me is the trend of people saying what they are thankful for at Thanksgiving. It's one of my favorite holidays, no matter how unappreciated it is as a whole.

I love to hear what people are thankful for and what means most to them, no matter what it is. Family and friends or beer and boobs, it doesn't matter what you hold dear, just make sure you keep it in mind and express your gratitude for all you have.

It isn't easy to keep sight of those things all the time, but it's always important.

So in the spirit of practicing what I preach, I'm gonna list some things I'm thankful for.

1. Breathing
2. A fully functioning circulatory system
3. Higher brain function
4. The ability to write what I'm thankful for
5. All the people who love me
6. All the people who tolerate me
7. All the people who pretend to tolerate me
8. God's exceedingly fucked up sense of humor
9. MY exceedingly fucked up sense of humor
10. The complex simplicity of the universe
11. Food
12. Monkeys smoking cigarettes
13. Comic books
14. Movies
15. Women
16. Women in comic book movies
17. Heavy metal. Both the music and the elements
18. Dihydrogen Monoxide
19. The moon and stars
20. And lastly for this list, since I don't want to ramble on forever, you. Because every time you read this blog you make me want to write in it that much more.

Here's to 1 month of randomness!!!

Well, a little over a month, but whatever.

I gave myself this awesome award for all my great award-worthy awesomeness!

I think starting this blog was one of the best ideas I ever stole from someone. It lets me state my opinions, write constantly and not have to see the look on your face when I say something stupid.

Thank you to everyone that reads this and especially thank you Moneypenny for giving me the idea to do this and for the support. You're the best, as always.

In a world where vampires are deeply emotional teenagers.....

....there were 5 terrible movies.

That is the essence of the Twilight Saga.

I'd like to thank my mom for inviting and treating my wife and I to a wonderful night out, first of all.

Now, I was going to critique the last Twilight movie. But I don't have to. By now, everyone can just expect the suckiness.

If you'd like to read a very astute and funny critique of the film, click  here. Moneypenny pegged it perfectly and she hasn't even seen it. Plus she attached a hilarious video

Rough day

I was having a pretty rough day and was about ready to give up on everything, until I remembered this one small, but very important fact.

  Somewhere in Japan, this is happening right now.

  Kinda makes you feel a bit better, huh?

”Reality is a slippery notion.”

I wish I could explain the incredibly complex ideas ruining through my mind today. I keep getting lost in thoughts about the definition of reality and what makes something real.

I don't know. It's one of those deep philosophy days for me I guess. Of anyone has any ideas to share, please do so freely. Maybe it'll help me sort things out in my mind.

Soundtrack for the week

The Sword - Apocryphon

For a band I just learned existed last night, I have been consumed by a passionate hard rock love for this band. The song Cloak of Feathers has totally made my day. I not only recommend you listen, but the Gods of rock command it!!!

Check this live video on you tube: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=R9YuTkxlP90

Veterans day

For all those have served, are serving and to those who will serve in the future, thank you from the bottom of my heart.  Over the top, boys and God speed.

Skyfall

My only recommendation on this movie is WATCH IT!!! If you're a Bond fan, you either already have seen it or are planning to and if you're not a fan, this would be an excellent time to become one. Oh and Judi Dench is the hottest Bond girl ever. That is all

Valuable advice of the day

Wise man say: ”Forgiveness is divine, but never pay full price for late pizza” - Michelangelo

Star Wars, Disney and a group of upset avians

Moneypenny and I were discussing something very dear to my heart today. Star Wars.

Sure the presidential election was sort of a big deal and all, but the most important news recently certainly had to be Disney's acquisition of Lucasfilm and the announcement of the new trilogy.

I have the same reservations as every die hard fan of the greatest of all sagas, but as time goes on, I'm beginning to see the advantages of the merger. The biggest of these is that, though I'm certain he will be involved in some way, George Lucas will not be directing our otherwise altering any more movies, clearing up the field for (fingers crossed) another movie closer to Empire Strikes Back than Phantom Menace. That alone is worth 4 billion dollars to me.

The other excellent SW news is Angry Birds: Star Wars. If you aren't already playing it, I suggest you do so immediately. They seem to have combined both the original and angry birds space into one big, beautiful package filled with classic sound effects and Sandpeople pigs. If you're one of those who is sick of angry birds and think you won't have any fun, you're lying to yourself because foolish and insecure. Search your feelings, you know it to be true.....

Recommended reading for before the world ends

If you are a fan of Sci fi/fantasy fiction, I would like to highly recommend Brandon Sanderson if you haven't already read any of his work.

I got wind of him because I'm a huge fan of Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time series and Sanderson was asked to complete the last book, or rather books, of that series. I feel he's done a remarkable job with that and I can't wait for the last book to come out, but the real prize of learning about him was being exposed to his own writings.

His style is such a unique fusion of the high fantasy lightheartedness of authors like Jordan, combined with a gritty and well routed realism found in authors like George R. R. Martin.

Sanderson´s first novel, Elantris, is a perfect example of what I mean. I don't claim to be a critic or a real die hard, but his ability to build an entirely new and vibrant magical world, while still giving it real weight and intrigue has made me a fan for life.

So I hope this will sufficiently entice some of you who read this to check out one or all of his books. I don't think you'll regret it.

"One does not simply boogie into Mordor"

As was pointed out to me so expertly by my dear Moneypenny, I haven't been a very good blogger over the last week. So I shall attempt to make up fo it right now. First, I'm not going to talk about the election, except to say that it was an excellent way to start my new project, Gentelman Shark. The photo posted here will be the first in a hopefully long series documenting the exploits of this mustachioed debutant shark. Second, I can't really decide where my interests are at the moment. I have started writing again and I still have alot of older poems and stories I need to go back over, but I keep getting distracted by my other pursuits. Maybe I'll try to focus and crank out some new material. In the meantime I can slap some other stuff I've written on here, assuming they will get read. So commemt if you want to read more of my stuff. I'm certain I can come up with a better post as the week continues, so bear with me. In the mean time, bask in the glory of Gentelman Shark.

I'll be back.... After my vacation

It's official. My vacation begins today. 9 days to chill with my beautiful wife. Starting it out pretty good with a morning rugby match. Aside from having to be the cabbie for all my inlaws, this is gonna be a great morning. I'll keep you posted by posting more posts in the days ahead. Yay!!!  I believe I will use fhis time to start reading through my Conan books again, in light of the news that Arnold Schwarzenegger is reprising his role as Robert E. Howard's hyborian hero. Oh and if you read this, I hope you have a great weekend, Moneypenny.

Here's something different

So this is pretty long and I'm not sure about some of the grammatical errors. But I just want to get some feedback on my style and if you would even want to read more of this. I don't actually have a title but it's the first part of a bigger story I have been working on for awhile. Enjoy.



From the lip of his perch atop the Great Spire he gazed intently across the land eastward. From his vantage point the man saw much that he once knew, now lost to him through war and isolation. The forest of the fells stretched out beneath and all around him, swirling and breaking with the wind like an emerald ocean, rustling with quiet life. The occasional bird breached the surface to fly or dive silently back amongst the leaves.

His eyes fixed on a point beyond the edge of that forest, amidst the hazy dark crags of the eastern mountain wall formerly known as the Warrens, now known only as death to all who travel there. He sees not through space but time, gazing into the portal of his memory to the world he knew that now lay spoiled and corrupt. He recalls the great walls and battlements of the fortress city that had once been his home and his pride. Hewn from the face of the great mountains themselves, she was meant to withstand time and break armies with the simple magnificence of her form. She was Arzafell, the shining jewel of the Warrens.

                                                                              1

"Flames Garreth, I've been looking everywhere for you!" A familiar booming voice exclaimed as he heard the trap door to the stairs clap shut behind him.
Garreth turned at the voice. "You had to know I'd be up here, Father. I need to survey the ranks as thoroughly as possible."

His father walked to his side and looked across the shining ranks of soldiers assembled in the courtyard below. The glittering steel armor of the Arzafell standing army had made them known throughout the other provinces of Trelaine as “The Glistening Dawn” as they always seemed to appear with the first rays of the sun and wash over any opposition that stood before them in one fluid silver mass. They were the strength of Arzafell and had been for close to 500 years.

"Sometimes I think you do my job better than I do. But then I suppose that's my fault for teaching you so damn well." Garreth’s father said. He was Torin, Commander of the army and second only to the great King Auden. He was a short and stocky man standing only 5’3 in his boots, for his grandfather had been Dwarfkin, but what he lacked in height he made up for in force of will and an inborn grandiosity. His thick brown hair was long and braided in a wide tail and he wore a well-manicured mustache on his stern face. A thin scar ran the full length of his face from his hairline to his jaw, a newly won trophy from the last campaign he has led against the mountain ogres on the eastern slopes of the warrens not three years before. His armor, massive and emblazoned across the chest with the great blue dragon, outshined all the others in the army and was adorned with a long cape as a nod to his ostentatious nature.

He turned then looking fully at Garreth, but his son kept his gaze on the lines, searching for any gaps in formation. He had only been promoted to second command 4 months ago and with this major battle looming on the horizon he was determined as always to outshine all that came before him, including his father.

"The king wants to discuss troop placement this afternoon. He has cooked up some new strategy he believes will help secure our northern lines." Torin said pushing himself away from the parapet that circled the tower and throwing his cape back over his shoulder.

"He requests that you join us. He knows you have a head for strategy. More importantly I believe he wants to see how you stand up under pressure." This stab at Garreth’s character angered the boy, but he turned and gave a slight smirk.

"Very well. Lead the way, Commander."

Together they descended the winding tower staircase into the castle proper. The sun was setting and the light seemed to bleed, orange and red, through the windows as they walked down the massive corridor towards the throne room and the courtyard beyond.

"For all you have learned and accomplished, there was always one thing that you never seemed to grasp, boy." Garreth looked at his father, seething.

"And what might that be, Commander? By your own admission I surpass you in almost all your duties and I am considerably farther along in study than you were in your twenty third year." He smiled to himself.

"Humility." His father said with a scowl. "You see everyone as beneath your notice. The men don't take to you because to you they are tools. You even put yourself on a pedestal for routine inspection and count them like nails on a cobblers table. These men, YOUR men, they need to feel your one of them. They may respect your rank, but they do not respect you. You need to realize that without them your nothing."

Garreth was stunned. He had always shied away from the company of others. He did not understand the way of people’s minds or their often irrational actions and therefore had no use for them. He was proud of what he had accomplished and believed that was enough to earn others respect.

He had never had issue with gaining friends or attracting the opposite sex, as he was a handsome, rugged looking youth with short cut, studious brown hair and intense, slate grey eyes that seemed to shine with brooding and deep intelligence. Garreth was much taller than his father and not as powerfully built and if not for the hard cut of the jawline and eerily similar voice, you might never have known they were related in any way. He was also more practical than his father and much more serious. His dry sense of humor and standoffish manner often assured that the friends he did make didn’t stay friendly for long.

His father continued. “I see you are puzzled. This has never occurred to you. I thought as much. I don't expect you to understand, but i do expect you to keep it in mind and learn the lesson of it. You are my second now and I will see my men treated as they deserve."

They walked silently into the throne room. It was hung with all the banners and regalia of any great court. The shields of all the past kings of Arzafell hung on the walls and the massive throne stood at the back of the room, carved into the stone itself. Above it was the high seal, emblazoned on an immense silver standard, of a deep blue dragon spewing flames. Servants were lowering the chandeliers to light the candles as evening closed in and the smell of roasting meats was wafting into the room from the kitchens.

"The king is in the courtyard with Thrane." The kings steward, a gaunt and hawk faced man named Salis, informed them as they walked towards the courtyard doors. Garreth had already guessed that the king would be there. Once word had reached him of the coming attack, the king had often taken to standing in the courtyard for many hours alone or sometimes with his favorite pet. The pair turned and walked through the great wooden doors that lead outside and there, in the center of the flagstone yard by a large table stood King Aueden. He had ruled on the high seat of Arzafell for thirty years and his people considered him the best king in collective memory. He was standing alone and staring out towards the setting sun in the west. His great armor fashioned of blue steel scales, each lined with silver, seemed to ripple with lightning as the failing light moved across it. At the sound of the great doors closing, he turned and saw the pair standing in the doorway.

"Ah, you've arrived. I apologize. I was absorbed in thought." The king said stepping forward to grasp their arms in greeting. "Hello Garreth. It has been some time since we last spoke. How have you taken to your duties as second command?"

"Greetings, my Lord." Garreth responded with a slight bow "It is a change but I have come to understand my duties well."

"True. Though he still has much to learn, whether he believes it or not." His father chuckled, clapping him on the back as he did so. Garreth looked at his father with a half-smile, obviously forced.

King Auden’s face grew solemn again as he looked at Garreth and he said “It is good to hear, though I fear you may find those final lessons thrust upon you very soon.” With that the king turned and the three men walked out to where the table stood, now ringed with standing torches, and looked at a great map spread out upon it.

The sun sank behind horizon as the commander began. "The bastard moves fast. I don't know how but he's covered twice the distance in a day that our mounted armies could cover in two." He drew a black line from the port city of Nal to the eastern edge of the forest of the fells. "None of our scouts can confirm the size of his army, since none have returned and to make matters worse there’s that damned black cloud. It's so big it could mask any amount of troops."

The king looked up from the map but said nothing. He simply stared east again and lightly drummed his fingers on the map. Garreth began to wonder what he may be thinking. King Aueden had never been, in Garreth's experience, prone to fits of spontaneous introspection. But now, as war quickly moved closer to the gates, the king himself seemed farther away than ever.

His thought was cut short when the torches began to sputter with a buffeting of strong wind. The king was roused. "That will be Thrane."

They all looked up and saw it, coming down slowly out of the darkness. The huge griffon was the mount and beloved pet of King Aueden. He landed softly on his great cats’ feet, kicking up the dust with the last few flaps of his great wings. He tucked them at his side and lay down to rest his great beak on his crossed fore paws. King Aueden walked over to the beast and stroked its white feathered head and it caused the creature to chirp lightly and begin to purr deep inside its huge chest.

As the king slowly stroked the animal, he seemed to gain a kind of resolve. He turned his head to look at them and said softly "I have been your king for many years and have faced many great enemies. I have protected my people as I should and I will continue to do so. But this is an enemy no man can understand. This is a threat that I believe cannot truly be accounted for. But we must do all in our power to keep our kingdom safe from any threat, no matter how daunting a task it may seem. I have faith in both of you and in our men and in our home. Arzafell will stand."

He looked back at his great purring beast for a moment and then he turned fully, seeming to gather himself.
"Let us prepare."

”There is just never enough Dong.....

....said the Vietnamese businessman”

So, I'm aware that my last post was a bit.... whiney. But I'm back on form I think.

I had an excellent night tonight with my family. Made up for the horrendous week. Oh and I got possibly the most disturbingly amazing gift today. I'll post a picture because it's too horrifying to actually explain.

Well I don't really have any world shaking insights or super cool  thoughts today. I'll try and post some more poems or something tomorrow. Or maybe I'll just spout out more crazy crap.

Oh and by the way, I'm new to this so anyone who wants to follow or be followed, let me know. I'm easy.

And now, my horrifying awesome gift!

When life gives you lemons....

.... Choke the hell out of them until they submit and become lemonade. Then dump it out and drink a damn Coke, just to show life you don't need it's crappy lemons.

I have been working at my current job for almost a year and a half and although it has yet to lose enough of it's perks to cause me to rin out screaming, it is getting more and more difficult to justify gettin up for it everyday. Responsibility is a curse that kills you slowly from the inside. But on the plus side, it does allow you to do some entertaining things while you die.

bye bye

Digging up old words...

 Okay here's something I wrote awhile ago. Not my best work but hey, who cares.

               "Hope"

Upon a beach of shifting sand,
I stand and gaze across the sea
To find within the gray expanse,
An island from my memory.

 My mind and heart recall the place,
A land of beauty, shaped by man
With bravery and sacrifice,
Compasion and a steady hand.

 Built amidst the violent wash
Of waves that breed uncertainty,
It grew upon foundations moored
In Freedom, Strength, and Liberty.

 Then as I awake from this,
My dream of vivid memory,
I see across the growing swells
The object of my revery.

It stands alone, still firmly bound,
Majestic on it's sturdy throne
But weathered, beaten, scarred by woe,
And threatened by a coming storm.

 I turn my eyes away from this,
Spilling tears upon the shore
And in so doing, happen on
Something unknown to me before.

Along the strand a crowd had formed
Of ever growing number,
And in the faces of the throng
I saw their raging hunger.

They looked out on the island,
As I had done before
Steadily they raised their voices,
Challenging the growing storm.

And I looked again to sea,
My heart was swole with pride.
A ray of light had broke the storm
And touched upon the isle.

Kneel before Blog!

Well here I go. I imagine a large number of my posts will be nonsensical and most of the time you won't want to read it, but you won't have a choice. If you've read this far I'm already in you're brain.

I'll put up poems and stories on occasion and the rest of the time I'll just surprise you. And probably me.